Northeast Times, November 1999

ALPHA CENTER HELPS MEDIATE

No matter how it's handled, divorce is always difficult for the children involved. Using mediation rather than litigation in the divorce process helps minimize the negative impact of divorce on children both during the proceedings and in the future.

"Divorce is painful for children," said child psychologist Dr. Eileen Schanel Klitsch. "Parents need to remember that they're breaking the family apart, and that is difficult and disruptive for children."

The Alpha Center for Divorce Mediation uses a team approach to mediation of divorce agreements. The process allows decisions regarding alimony, child support, child custody and division of property to be made without litigation divorce proceedings.

It's a challenge for divorcing parents to remember what kids need. Dr. Klitsch offers these suggestions:

• Keep kids informed.
  
• Tell kids your love for them won't change.
  
• Try to be positive or at least neutral about the other parent.
  
• Agree to be consistent in parenting.
  

Dr. Klitsch recommends that every divorcing couple go through emotional counseling, even if they only go a few times.

The Alpha Center offers a resource list of good therapists. It also offers a list of self-help books on ways to make co-parenting successful, as well as story books for children to explain the process.

There are specific warning signs for divorcing or divorced parents to watch for that means their children might need to see a child therapist: These include:

• Younger children exhibiting regressive behavior, such are sucking their thumb or talking baby talk.
  
• Sleep problems, including night wakening or wanting to sleep in bed with a parent.
  
• Behavior problems at school and/or a drop in grades.
  
• Increased sexual behavior in adolescents.