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Jan 6, 2014

Guest Blog 1: Shell Shocked

Blog, Child Support Mediation, Divorce and Children, Divorce and the Home, Divorce Trends: Children and Divorce

“Have a holly jolly Christmas, and in case you didn’t hear, oh by golly have a holly jolly Christmas, this year.” This song always made me reminisce about past Holidays, and how they always had their ups and downs. One year it’s all happy and gifts, and the next it’s screaming and yelling. Being a child of an unhappy marriage, and divorce is not always the same. My parent’s relationship was like a bad roller coaster at an amusement park in the dead of winter; unbearable, and full of torment.

One would think that the holiday season would put them in a great, cheery mood, but it was always the opposite. I always tried to help in any way that I could because I knew it eased the tension between my parents. My mom was always yelling at my father to get off the couch and do something to help, and he would just lie there and act like he didn’t hear her. She was always the first one awake and the last to bed, working, cleaning and cooking. When my family arrived, the tension seemed to ease, probably only because my father would put on an act of kindness and compassion. I liked to think no one knew how emotionally dysfunctional my family was, but deep down I knew they all did. Sometimes, my fathers “act” would be so real I would believe it, and almost take advantage of it and how happy it made me feel.

This year is different. My parents are soon to be divorced, and the house is filled with an unfamiliar ambiance. My mom is a lot happier though; there will be no yelling this year, no more repetition of yelling tasks, no acts or lies, just pure joy. The fake tree covered in ornaments filled with past memories no longer stands in its place. Instead, a real, live tree fills the room with its sent, glowing in white lights and new gold and silver decorations. The holiday season this year will no longer be filled with ups and downs, but the hope of starting something new.

– Shell Shocked