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May 13, 2013

Compromising for Your Future

Blog, Divorce Mediation, News

Yesterday my family and I went to see Peter Nero and the Philly Pops in their final performance. We were amazed at the talent gathered on that stage and how heartfelt the appreciation was for Peter’s 34 years of dedication to this great orchestra.

When we returned home, I went to my computer to find out exactly why this was their last concert. I had some vague recollection of a bankruptcy action in the news but was astounded at the various accounts of what transpired. It appears to have been much like divorce litigation; battle lines were drawn and everyone concerned lost much more than they gained.

Like divorce litigants, it is likely that everyone involved felt that their position was “right” and held righteous indignation for those who did not agree with them. They stayed fixed in their positions until the bitter end came through the bankruptcy court. The only true winners were the bankruptcy attorneys who walked away with fat fees that certainly made it worth their efforts.

I continue to wonder why people choose the destructive route when the “middle road” leads to a much better outcome for everyone concerned. Do these destructive urges spring from our egos which feed on dominance and revenge? Do they stem from fear that compromise somehow diminishes our illusion of control?

No doubt it is sad to see situations where the worst of our human nature overcomes the best of it. I am fortunate that my 18 years of work as a divorce mediator have given me the opportunity to see people every day, who in their most emotionally difficult time of their life, choose to compromise for the good of their family and their futures.

After the storm passes, life always moves forward. Let us all hope for a future where we let our hearts and minds guide us rather than our fears and egos.

Keila M. Gilbert, Attorney-Mediator, founded Alpha Center for Divorce Mediation 18 years ago. Alpha Center has helped over 5,000 clients lower the cost, time and stress of their divorce through divorce mediation services. 

If you have questions or concerns about divorce mediation in Doylestown, Newtown, Plymouth Meeting, King of Prussia, Bucks County, Montgomery County or Chester County, please contact Alpha Center for Divorce Mediation at 1800-310-9085.