Sometimes the decision to divorce is mutual. And sometimes, couples arrive at that decision without rancor. Too often, however, neither of those situations applies. Historically, battle lines are drawn and the spouses “lawyer up” for the fray.
But more and more couples are choosing mediation. According to nolo.com, “Mediation can work for almost all couples and has a long list of benefits.” Even so, the initiating spouse may face resistance. The reluctant spouse may not be at all interested in making the process easier and more productive at first. But with time, kindness and compassion, the initiating spouse can explain the mutual advantages of mediation.
“Many couples can complete their divorce transition in less than 9 months and at a level of financial cost that preserves more of the couple’s assets for use in building their new lives. Couples who choose a litigated divorce can spend an average of $30,000 and take an average of 2-5 years (or more) to complete their divorce transition. A mediated divorce, as opposed to a litigated divorce, can also significantly lessen the emotional impact on family relations.”
Reassure your ‘reluctant” spouse that “mediation is confidential, with no public record of what goes on in your sessions. Mediation allows you to arrive at a resolution based on your own ideas of what is fair in your situation, rather than having a solution imposed upon you. You and your spouse — not the court — can control the process.
At the very least, encourage your spouse to explore Alpha Center for Divorce Mediation’s website for comprehensive information about the mediation process. Then, when you’re both ready, schedule a free hour-long consultation with an experienced attorney-mediator who will explain your options.
The time you take and efforts you make to persuade your reluctant spouse to explore mediation are well worth the potential benefits to you, your spouse and your children.
©2015 Alpha Center for Divorce Mediation