For singles who want children and for divorced couples who don’t want to upend their children’s live, a new trend offers an alternative: a platonic, parenting partnership.
For singles who want a family, but haven’t found a partner or who prefer not to marry, platonic parenting means finding a like-minded person who is willing to commit to co-parenting a child.
The advantages, advocates claim, is that people can define the how the partnership will work. They discuss and work out many of the logistics of family life—child-rearing philosophies, finances, education, living arrangements and much more—in advance. They enter into the arrangement with clarity and forethought.”* The children have the benefit of having two parents. Neither partner has to go it alone as a single parent. Instead they are each other’s support system.
Websites such as Modamily.com, Coparents.com and FamilybyDesign.com connect people interested in becoming parents but not spouses or lovers. “In many ways, the couples who come together to create these parenting partnerships are proving to be much more prepared for the responsibilities of raising a child than couples that do it the old-fashioned way . . .They are modeling the true definition of a planned parenthood. **
Some married couples find platonic parenting to be a workable alternative to the disruption that conventional divorce wreaks on children’s lives. The couple continues to share their home, but acknowledge that their romantic partnership is over. Then they work out and formalize a financial and/or legal agreement and may or may not divorce.
In some cases, they may divorce and continue to share the home. If they have a clear understanding of their responsibilities to their children, themselves and each other, they may be able to dissolve their partnership without damaging their family. , while allowing each other the opportunity to some day find romantic happiness with someone else. The Alpha Center for Divorce Mediation is an excellent resource for people seeking alternatives to traditional divorce
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