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Jan 28, 2011

2 Types of Divorces

Divorce and General Articles

There are 2 types of divorces, the kind people talk about because of the scandal, and the kind people talk about because of the lack of scandal.  Both kinds of divorce elicit talk out of misunderstanding.  We don’t understand how a divorce can get so messy, but then again we don’t understand how a divorce can be so civil.  When I think of the 2 positions 2 couples come right to the forefront of my mind; Bruce Willis and Demi Moore and Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.  It may be Hollywood, but both couples are great examples of how divorce plays out everyday all over the United State. 

            Bruce Willis and Demi Moore married in 1987, it was Bruce’s first and Demi’s second marriage. 

            They looked like the perfect Hollywood couple, and they soon had children, three girls, Rumor born 1988, Scout born 1991, and Tallulah born 1994.  It was sad and shocking to all when they were divorced in 2000.  What now?  What about the children?  What happened?  What will happen next?  How much are they going to spend on legal fees?  The next thing was another great shock, they acted like adults, they put aside whatever it was that caused them to divorce and remembered that they were a family and that their children deserved a childhood where they were free to love both of their parents without feelings of guilt.  Bruce and Demi NEVER gave a public reason for their divorce, never spoke ill of one another in public, and made their family a priority.  They vacation together, they attended each others next weddings, they support and respect each other.  Weird right!  Bruce has been quoted as saying, “It’s hard to understand, but we go on holidays together.  We still raise our kids together, we still have that bond.” “Demi is the mother of my children and Ashton is the stepfather of my children.  I’m thrilled that Ashton turned out to be such a great guy.”  “I love Demi, and I know she loves me.”  WOW!

            Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger, the polar opposite of Bruce and Demi.  Alec and Kim married in 1993, the first marriage for Alec and the second fro Kim.  Though they seemed to be a bit volatile from the beginning they had a child, Ireland in 1995.  They seemed to always be in the news for one thing or another, so I don’t think it was a huge surprise when they were divorced in 2002.  Kim sighted irreconcilable differences in her court filing, and that turned out to be the understatement of the century.  The fight began and I don’t think it has ever stopped.  Alec Baldwin was quoted in 2008 as saying that he had spent over $1.5 million on legal fees related to the divorce and custody battle.  It took that much money and that much time for a small glimmer of sanity to hit this couple.  Alec wrote a book in 2008 called “A Promise to Ourselves”, Alec is quoted in the book as saying; “When someone is sick, our society usually offers some means of care.  The sick reaches out to professionals who arrive with their skills and training to the ready, prepared to solve the problem.  When illness afflicts a marriage, however, the professionals who arrive on the scene often are there to prolong the bleeding, not stop it.”   Too bad he didn’t take this stand BEFORE he paid so much in money, turmoil, and pain. 

            My hope being that Bruce and Demi be seen as a role models and Alec and Kim be seen as a warning!

By Doc Ramstiegn