Feb 8, 2022
The Silver Lining of Divorce
I recently read an article about the “upside” of divorce and before I started reading, I laughed at the idea. Can there really be an upside to divorce? Then, I paused and seriously thought about it. Being a part of the “club”, I decided to stop and think about any good that
came from my divorce. I imagine and hope my small reflections might be helpful to others who read this and may find a positive moment of reflection as well. Please note that I am not trying to make it sound like going and getting a divorce is something everyone should do. I really truly believe we should fight for our marriages. However, people change, our environment changes, and sometimes, life happens. Some things are really out of our realm of control. IF divorce happens, then let’s try to find something positive to take from it.
Christine Lombardo-Zaun, Esq., an attorney-mediator at Alpha Center for Divorce Mediation, explores if there can be an ‘upside’ to divorce. IF divorce happens, then let’s try to find something positive to take from it.
Divorcing can be brutal and relentless.
Even the most amicable divorces are tough. A marriage, a promise, a bond, is ending. The process is time-consuming and can be costly. However, there are some silver linings that stem from divorce.
Divorce forces you to prioritize your life.
It forces you to prioritize things such as finances, but it also forces you to prioritize people and relationships. Yes, you might lose “friends”, but you also might make new ones. These new ones might end up being more meaningful to you. Instead of resenting the loss of old friends, be thankful you had them while you did and move on, without the hurt or anger. You might also reframe how you look at your work since now, your income is supporting you and your children, and you do not have a second income to support you.
Divorce changes you as a person.
For some, it can make you a better person. For some, it can make you more thoughtful of your choices. It can make you nicer. It can make you happier, calmer, more peaceful. When all of those things happen, it could end up making you healthier.
It can make you start a new health and wellness routine allowing you to focus on you for once.
Divorce allows you to become more grateful and appreciative.
Some will find the beauty in the smallest things when going through a divorce such as the vibrant color of an orchid, or a beautiful sunrise or sunset, or just making a meal for one and not wasting any food. Taking note of these tiny moments can lead one to noticing more of them and then eventually having a greater, more thankful outlook on life.
Finally, in my short reflection, divorce can lead to overall personal growth. Divorcing is frightening. From living on your own, to cooking for one, to self-care for one and one’s children, divorce changes your routine and forces you out of your comfort zone. There are many sayings out there, but one I like lean on is that “life starts when you jump out of your comfort zone”. I tell this to my students. It’s true. Divorce definitely forces you to jump out of your comfort zone. Try new things, start new habits, create new routines. Embrace the silver linings.
Alpha Center for Divorce Mediation