When do you start dating again? During a divorce or after it’s official? Six months or maybe even a year later? It depends.
Even when children are not part of the equation, a divorce is a significant life transition. You need to find your footing and your way forward. You may be attracted to people similar to your ex-spouse or be looking for the polar opposite. Attraction is a reaction to what’s in front of you, but not always a reliable barometer of what you’re really looking for. Before you blindly sign up for Internet dating sites or agree to fix-ups by friends, think about what you really need right now.
An Activity Partner: Someone to hike or bird watch or dance with Try Meet-up.com. Check out community activity listings in your local newspaper for opportunities to hook up with like-minded people.
An Event Buddy: If there’s a concert or film or play you really want to see, independent movie houses, regional theaters and symphonies often offer discussions with the audience after performances. You’ll enjoy the company of other aficionados!
A Confidant: If you crave long soulful discussions or a sympathetic shoulder, recruit your best friend, your favorite cousin or join a support group.
A Coach: Looking for a pep talk, incentives, accountability? There are apps for everything from fitness, sports, weight loss and meditation. Coach.me is a productivity app for everything from personal growth to learning a skill to improving happiness.
A Mirror: – Need affirmation, validation? Volunteer and find out how much your generosity matters to someone in need. Visit a shut-in, serve meals in a soup kitchen, or help out an animal shelter.
A Little Polish: – Feeling drab? Visit a cosmetics counter for a free make-up demonstration or spring for a makeover at a salon. Guys can check out one of the new-fashioned shaving emporiums where you can be pampered with soothing hot towels, a straight edge razor smooth shave and comfy barber chairs.
©2015 Alpha Center for Divorce Mediation